“One who lives in harmony with oneself lives in harmony with the Universe.”
Marcus Aurelius, 160 AD, Rome
Video #1: Teaching
Video #2: Exercises
Please perform your Morning Purpose Ritual.
Ego Blueprint Part One: Personality Code
Today’s exercises are based on the ground-breaking work of Tim Kelley’s “True Purpose” which relies heavily on the previous work of the Voice-Dialogue Method and the Internal Family Systems Model. Tim’s work explains the genesis of every unique piece of your personality (how you became who you are) so you can begin to integrate the various pieces of yourself into a cohesive ego structure that has at its core, your life’s purpose.
The first persona you’ll meet is your Critic. The Critic protects you from danger (perceived or real) by telling you you cannot do whatever it is you want to do. A healthy Critic, for example, says, “You cannot run fast enough to beat the crosswalk signal. In few months, with training, you could do it.”
Conversely, an un-integrated Critic will say, “You are not good enough to have a life of vitality, abundance and love. You have to work harder to be deserving of it. Right now you don’t have what it takes to get it. You might never have what it takes.”
See the difference here? The healthy Critic keeps you physically safe in a way that serves your well-being and purpose, by pushing you into new areas of being and growth; whereas the un-integrated Critic just fills you with negative self-talk that keeps you from taking action towards the life you want.
The Skeptic prevents you from danger (real or psychological) by discouraging you from trusting others. Your Skeptic tells you that you can’t do things by pointing its arrows outward at others, the world, institutions, or culture. The Skeptic tells you, “You cannot do this (thing) because the world is a bad place full of untrustworthy or malicious people who will hurt you if you choose to live truthfully.” It says “You’ve been hurt before and you’ll get hurt again if you let anyone get close.”
A healthy Skeptic says, “Be mindful in how you approach others. Purpose, courage, and truth in any form can be threatening. Many people are listening only from their own fears, and instinctively reacting negatively to brilliance as a result. Since I love you, I don’t want to see that happen. So let’s give some consideration to how we engage others with our purpose and meet them where they are.”
An unintegrated Skeptic will say, “You cannot have a life of vitality, abundance, and love because others won’t let you have it; they will injure or diminish you at every turn. So don’t even try to find your purpose or follow your dreams. Stay small, just as you are. Always obey me, because the world is full of bad people who want to hurt you. You need me to survive, and you need me to keep you small, stuck, inert.”
See the difference there? The healthy Skeptic guides you to act on your purpose from a place of compassion for others’ wounding and pragmatic wisdom about the world, whereas the unintegrated Skeptic fills you with negative talk that keeps you from taking action towards the life you want.
Your Image Consultant and Your Risk Manager
These two personas prevent you from loss (physical, financial, social, or psychological) by telling you what you can’t do and by alerting you to the possibility of loss and worst-case scenarios. The Image Consultant tells you that, if you find and live your life’s purpose, you will look bad, lose your reputation, people you love will leave you, and you will die alone, unloved, unmourned. The Risk Manager reminds you what happens when people take risks: they get shot down, derided, are fired, ridiculed; they become bankrupt and lose wealth, homes, careers; risk-takers die poor and alone.
A healthy Image Consultant and Risk Manager says,“Your professional reputation and financial security is important to your wellbeing, so your purpose must move forward in a way that honors your relationships and financial commitments. Since I love you, I don’t want to see you lose what you have worked so hard for or lose the professional and personal relationships that are important to you. So let’s give mindful consideration to how we deploy and message our purpose, and roll out our new purposeful life.”
An unintegrated Image Consultant and Risk Manager will say, “Any loss or risk is intolerable and self-expression is an unqualified evil. You cannot be yourself, take any risks, or in any way live your purpose, because the risks of failure are too great. Others will abandon you, so don’t even try to find your purpose, don’t follow your dreams and stay small right where you are. Always obey me, because without me you will act foolish and lose everything and die alone. You need me to survive, and you need me to keep you small, stuck, inert.”
See the difference here? The healthy Image Consultant and Risk Manager guide you to act on your purpose from a place of self-love, consideration, and pragmatism, whereas the unintegrated Image Consultant and Risk Manager fill you with social and financial doomsday talk that keeps you from taking action towards the life you want.
Your Wounded Child
There is a fifth major voice, the Wounded Child, that dwells in pain of past traumas, feels pain deeply, and uses distraction (media, chores, work), addictions and strong suits (being funny, smart, beautiful, creative) to gloss over the pain. This is more advanced work requiring sustained personalized attention (e.g. a circle, therapist, or a Purpose Guide), so we are not going to go there in this Challenge. I surface Wounded Child here only to remind you that you are not deficient for having vices and moments of weakness. These are normal and natural ways to deal with pain. However, there is not enough time in three weeks to adequately support you in this piece of work, so I decided not to include it here. After the Challenge, we will provide resources for you to go deeper into your Wounded Child.
Let’s begin the exercise!
Step One: Create a chart in your journal that looks like this:
With these four inner voices outlined, you’re going to pick up your lists of “Choices” and “Shoulds” from Day Ten and identify which of these four voices they belong to. It’s possible that some of your “Shoulds” and “Choices” don’t fit these voices. It’s also possible that you have a voice that doesn’t have any “Shoulds” or “Choices” allocated to it. There are lots of reasons for this, such as a particular voice isn’t super strong in your ego structure or there is a major area of your life (health, career, romance, etc.) that the voice is indeed active but hasn’t yet surfaced. Either option is fine and won’t prevent you from moving forward with this Exercise. Now, sort these 70 “Shoulds” and “Choices” into four voices, as applicable.
You have now created a structure for all of your beliefs about yourself and the world. With these categories in place, you are ready to deepen you ego deconstruction work.
ACCELERATE YOUR LIFE
Do you want to continue your purpose journey after the Challenge? Register for the Psi-Omega Program to gain new insights about your purpose, cultivate powerful tools for overcoming resistance, and create your life of love, abundance and vitality!
When: March 1 - April 13
Cost: $347, or $297 if you sign up before Feb. 28, or FREE if you sign up for an ADVANCED Program (below).
>> PLAY A BIG GAME <<
Do you want to play a big game in the world as a purpose-driven entrepreneur, or as a change maker, author and speaker? Register for one of our ADVANCED Programs to become a purpose-driven leader: