“If you have come here to help me, you are wasting your time. But if you have come because your liberation is bound up with mine, then let us work together”
Lilla Watson, Australian aboriginal activist, artist and academia
As with every day of the Purpose Challenge, please perform your Morning Purpose Ritual.
Now that you have a solid sense of who you are (being), what you do (talents), what you care about (mission / future of purpose, vitality, love and abundance) and what’s in the way (ego structure / resistance), it is time to take your purpose out into the world. You’ll start by adding some new communication tools to your purpose toolbox. Communicating with your purpose first requires getting inside the world of the person or group you are communicating with. This is an exercise in empathy and non-attachment, wherein you’re not steering the conversation, so much as letting it evolve and go deeper. Empathy establishes trust, and trust is the bedrock of all business, all relationships, all change in the world. Nobody would have followed Dr. King without trust. No one would have invested in Tesla without trust.
Today’s exercise is about establishing trust with someone, by cultivating empathy and understanding, so that the conversation that follows about your purpose or your Purpose Project lands in their heart first, before their head. This is of the utmost importance, as people who don’t know or trust you will first be listening with their Critic or Skeptic, and will not even give you the chance to move them with your heart. So we first have to cultivate the skills to empathize, then cultivate the skills to move the conversation into the heart space, so we have listening for what the other person is most passionate about, where their biggest wound is, and how we can best help them.
Everybody is wounded. As you’ve discover by interviewing your Critic, Skeptic, Image Consultant, Wounded Child and Risk Manager, there are events in each of our pasts that made us how we are. To make a purposeful connection, we need to connect first from the heart, by touching our own wounds, as a way to feel into another’s pain and listening.
In this module, we’re going to work with the three most common wounds, and the core (Maslow) need that is underneath that:
In today’s exercise we’re going to work with the first one, abuse, trauma or neglect. You'll need your journal and pen.
STEP ONE: Write three to five sentences about a factual experience of yours, where you were abused, traumatized or neglected. This step is just about the data. What happened, as if a tape recorder was on, so no judgments or feelings.
STEP TWO: What feelings did this bring up for you?
STEP THREE: What judgments did you make up or take on from that experience?
STEP FOUR: What impact did those judgments have in your life?
STEP FIVE: How have you healed from this incident? What have you gained?
Once you have this story in place, you are now in touch with that type of wound and can listen for what the other person most needs and wants. After you do all the exercises in this module (over the next three days), you'll be ready to engage others in a discussion about their purpose.
There are five key parts to the heart-centered conversation:
Stay tuned for the belonging and self-expression exercises. Soon you'll have a clear understanding of how you are deeply related to every human.
Please watch this BONUS video below, with Alex Iglecia, on embodying and communicating your purpose.